Who would have thought I’d still be single by now, Seki that her mother sells amala by Unilag’s gate is already married, even Bolade that her ‘’baby daddy’’ told her to ‘’pak and go’’ has finally found her Mr. Right, it seems so easy for everyone, Vivian what is wrong with you? You’re not ugly and you don’t have 3 breasts na… *looks at chest and adjusts blouse*
It has been 3 months and not a word from Ola, I’ve been thinking a lot and these thoughts come with several unanswered questions; did karma happen and his phone did a back-flip? Did he go back to Canada? Why would he breakup without a closure? Na wa o, and someone said all Nigerian men are not the same, mstchewww. Speaking of Nigerian men, hmmmm, if there were any angels among the demons, then Femi and I should have been engaged by now, the way we met was so magical, he was my knight in shining armor and he swept me off my feet like kilode.
I remember clearly how we met, I was buying some provisions that day and just as I was about to hand the cashier my ATM card, this guy came to my side and said,
“I don’t know the name of this beautiful lady but bills on me please”
He then handed the cashier his card.
I thanked him and carried my shopping bag happily, he even went ahead to open the door for me as I was leaving the supermarket and said,
“My name is Femi, please be as sweet as you look and tell me your name”
I was very lonely at the time and I needed a rebound seriously so I fell for this charming Yoruba demon right there, “I’m Vivian,” I said. We exchanged numbers, went for a drink and he dropped me at home.
Fast forward to 2 weeks after our “love-at-first-sight” moment at the supermarket, I was already forgetting about Ola and doing it everywhere with Femi, I don’t know why, but the bad ones are always good in bed sha, we even did it in the kitchen one night, there was no time to rush to the bedroom to get a condom so I had to use my sense and take Postpill after we finished that day. Body no be firewood, but the #AfterSexPill came to my rescue.
The #FemiLovesVivian2019 (yes, our friends already gave us a wedding hashtag) turned sour when I caught Femi cheating on me with a girl in his office, I had asked him about her several times and he lied that it was strictly professional, I caught them kissing in his car and that was the day I said goodbye to my rebound lover, he was my third lover this year, they say the third time’s a charm, but definitely not for me.
I won’t give up sha, I have a job, loving friends, family and a roof over my head so there’s something to be thankful for but you see this Mr.right, we go find am by force, no be this Lagos, my aso-ebi will be very expensive ehn, because I will calculate all the ones I’ve bought plus all the years I spent getting disappointed while finding Mr.right
*Drops pen to pick up phone*
Hello, who is on the line please?
Unknown Caller: Vivian dear, this is Ola.