On the 15th of February 2014, I took Steve to meet my parents, we had been dating for 4 years and he finally popped the question on valentine’s day. I was happy, the ring finally came even though I had been suggesting it. I knew Steve was not the kind of guy who would bother to make a big proposal but at least i mentioned several times that I wanted a public proposal. “I mean, why not”? Most of my friends got big proposals, so I didn’t want to carry last at all.
The proposal happened in a Chinese restaurant. After a very delicious meal, one of the waiters brought a hot towel for me, and on opening the dish, it was a beautiful ring. The kind I had showed to Steve on a jewelry website but with a smaller rock. 5 of our friends appeared immediately to congratulate us and take pictures. It was nice, almost as nice as I wanted it.
Steve worked in the bank, and I imagined that he earned at least 150-200k monthly, cos whenever i tried to discuss his income, he found a way to change the topic. He lived with his elder brother while I lived with my parents. I had graduated from University 3 years earlier but was yet to find a job, so I was learning to make beads and relied on my parents and Steve financially.
After the proposal, I got more comfortable with our relationship and started sleeping over at his place. Occasionally, I tried to bring on a discussion about our wedding plans; but the discussion usually ends shortly with “we will talk about it later”. 2 months later, I missed my period and later confirmed to be pregnant.
Me; Boo, we are pregnant.
Him; What? You have got to be kidding
He looked at me with rage in his eyes as he walked out. My world tore apart that moment. I was very heart broken at his reaction and I cried for hours. Days passed and i didn’t do anything meaningful with my life. On the fourth day, I opened up to my mum.
Me: Mummy I am pregnant
Mum; What? Where is the young man you introduced to us, isn’t he the father of the child?
Me; Yes, He is
Mum; Then he must take responsibility for his actions. Invite him again so we can start preparing for your wedding.
I stared at my mum in confusion for 2 minutes, then rushed back to my room to continue crying.
The next Saturday, I went to Steve’s place to see him and I found him on his laptop working.
Steve; What are you doing here, I am very busy with work
Me; Why are you treating me this way? We are engaged, and I am pregnant with your child
Steve; I am not ready to start a family now. I cannot afford to take care of you or a baby. My salary is only 70,000.
Me; Steve you are just making excuses, so why did you propose?
Steve; Because you wanted me to
We were quiet for about 5 mins, then I started crying again. This time he came closer to me and held me. “ Bimbo, I love you but I am not ready for a responsibility as huge as fatherhood now. I expected that you had a way to prevent pregnancy even when I don’t use condoms. You love me? What type of love is this? I stared at him in disdain as he spoke, I was very disappointed and heartbroken. I left his house and went straight to see my best friend Chioma. Chioma was present at our proposal; she was very surprised to hear of Steve’s reaction to my pregnancy.
Chioma; Babe am so sorry, but you sef, why were you not sharp?
Me; What do you mean by sharp, are you mocking me?
Chioma; I mean sharp with contraceptives…. Have you never heard of honeyandbanana.com?
Me; what’s that?
Chioma; It is a website with a lot of information on contraceptives such as Fiesta Condoms, POSTPILL emergency contraceptive, Levofem daily pills or an injection that can prevent pregnancy for 3 months and other methods. Infact, I contacted them, and they referred me to a hospital where I got my contraceptive injection administered.
Me; what do I do now? You should have told me about this honeyandbanana.com website earlier. Now I’m pregnant and unemployed.
Chioma; I am so sorry, give him time. Steve might change his mind.
Tell your friends about honeyandbanana.com before it is too late. Don’t fall victim to the ring situation. Visit honeyandbanana.com to learn how to prevent pregnancy until you are both ready. Join the conversation on social media with the hashtag #BeSharp