For some people, a romantic relationship is the most meaningful element of life, providing a source of deep fulfillment. Failed relationships happen for many reasons, and the failure of a relationship is often a source of great psychological anguish. Some people break down completely health wise and even in their careers due to the emotional hurt and damage from a failed relationship. It is therefore essential for partners to work consciously and intentionally towards achieving a Happy Relationship.
Relationships like marriage, romance, live-in partners or any of similar kinds can be sustained, if some of the secret rules are followed. Relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it, yet following certain guidelines may help in achieving a successful relationship. Many of these, so called, rules are based on the life experience of many happy couples and also the observation of people. The secret rules are detailed below.
Rule 1- Know your Partner
During the dating stage, while you visit the cinemas and all the nice fancy places, it is important that you study your partner as if you would be tested in an examination, understand his or her likes and dislikes, reactions, behaviour opinions and goals. It is very important to know your partner so as to share in his/her goals. It is at this stage that you should evaluate if you are compatible for a long lasting happy relationship or not. Spend quality time together, build a true friendship and communicate as much as possible. It is also very important to learn your partner’s Love language.
Rule 2- Show Love
The emotion of Love comes as a package which includes, listening, commitment, care, respect, share, dedication, forgiveness etc., Express these emotions always to make your partner feel the intensity of your love. Do not be a miser in loving your partner and let your love be unconditional and true.
Rule 3- Be Supportive
Never ever leave your partner unsupported. Whatever be the opinions and ideas, know that you are the only one he/she can lean for support. When both of you are alone, you can argue among yourself on points you disagree with, but in public both of you have only one mind / one front. Holding the hands, especially when he/she is sad or broken, is helpful to convey you care for your partner.
Rule 4: Create your Own Happiness
No one can be considered in a perfect relationship, and how happy a couple is or looks is a result of the happiness created by both partners. No relationship, as a whole, is destined to be happy or perfect all the time. There can be moments of happiness and moments of struggles. The couple who learns the secrets of balancing both happiness and struggles wins the life and enjoys the best possible relationship and life. When in tension or issues, many people may think that they are fated to fall into wrong relationship, and at the same time ignore the possible chances of making each moments in life happy by understanding the partner a bit more and adjusting a bit more.
Rule 5: Be Romantic
It is not enough to just show love or say I love you at the end of phone conversations. You also need to learn what your partner’s love language is. Love language romance refers to the way or manner your partner prefers to be shown love, that one thing that tickles him or her. Some people prefer words of affirmation, receiving gifts, your presence (spending quality time together), acts of service and physical touch. Learn your partner’s love language and speak it always!
Rule 6: Communication is Key
Another secret of a happy relationship lies in being open and honest with your partner. Do not feel afraid to express your thoughts to your partner and never ever make him/her afraid to also speak out his/ her thoughts. When people communicate effectively, many of the issues in relationships can be melted down. Holding back to your thoughts and concerns, may result to grudges which may not be understood by your partner. The communication between partners should be a frequent element and no one should hold the words when he/she really wants to talk.
Rule 7: Avoid Comparing your Relationship
By all means, never compare your partner to someone else or compare your relationship to that of a friend or colleague especially because “the grass always appears greener on the other side”. The aspect of your friend’s relationship or partner that you see is only the part that they have allowed you access to see. If you experience struggles in your relationship which you cannot deal with on your own, seek advice and counselling from a trusted couple that have longer experience in maintaining a happy relationship. Also, do not be in a hurry to seek advice or share your problems especially for minor disagreements, first try to communicate and find a common ground, but when the situation is beyond you, or a major problem that involves abuse, violence and infidelity, by all means please seek help.
Rule 8: Break up and Divorce are Not a Solution
When issues arise, if you truly love your partner, you should have it behind your mind that breakup and divorce is not a solution. The reason for increased divorce rate is analyzed as the mentality of people who even before getting into a relationship think divorce as means of solving possible issues in it. Divorce is never an option but it’s the utmost decision to be taken in life only at an inevitable situation. Do not even think about a breakup or divorce whenever you are confronted with minor issues in relationships. Communicate and find a common ground. Be willing to make changes and necessary sacrifices for the continued happiness of your relationship.
By abiding to all these rules, chances are high that your relationship will be sustained and maintained happily.
By Onyinye Ikeokwu